Yes, one more year come to close--a year, where my level of frustration didn't know any limits [i.e. no ceiling...]--I got upset at things, at people for end number of times. I got angry too...but limited myself from blabbering when I am angry[no wonder, my BP is not in control]..but then when I couldn't control myself-I had to blast out...but later, I felt sorry, for allowing my emotions to vent out.
I have been pissed off this year, than any other year--to be honest. The year started off well...but till Feb. 28th, 2010. March 1st, 2010, a monday--was really a dark day or "black day" as you may want to call it. My blog was too much for someone--I just saved my ass from being terminated..however, things moved on. Work, sleep, cooking, casual conversations, casual shopping & eating out--all were going on till May 29, 2010, when I cut my finger in an electric slicer at work. I felt really shitty or I was in "deep shit", when that happened to me--barely, I could cook, type, eat or write--n some people just made fun of this pitiful condition---their excuse was to make me laugh, when I was crying out of pain--couldn't sleep at night--fucktards!!
In due course, I recovered..pretty fast though & went to India on vacation for just 20 days.The vacation was ok...but it was nice to see those friends, who just pretended to be friend & bite me from back...& it was nice to see those friends..who I have not seen for a while...& who I never talked to in my life before...& met them after a decade!! Additionally...cooking classique at home..for friends, family & relatives...altogether a different feeling.
But I had to come back to Dubai..& made certain resolutions, with which I abided by & I was successful. Fortunately, I changed my kitchen from breakfast to lobby lounge[at least got to cook something than cutting fruits!!] & in my off time, casual experiments--my inspirations being a handful of famous chefs!!
I have changed my outlook completely--those people who dont fall in my category--doesn't matter. I will just simply avoid them. If someone alleges me of something and if it is not true-I just dont care. I dont want them to be a part of life anymore-fuck off!!! Similarly, if someone's behaviour is not appropriate[or doesn't fall in the level of my acceptance] just get off!!! Life is beautiful without you...Perhaps, I have created enemies like this..but I dont mind.
This year perhaps I tried many languages together, but when it came to actual practice, i.e. speaking to the guests, I mixed it up. For example, saying the word "Da" to German-"Da" is a Russian word for "Yes" & the like. Russian, Italian, French--I seemed to try all...German was difficult for me, except "Spiegeleier", "Ruhreier", "Danke Schon", "Bitte Schon" etc.
I seem to hate those people, who say something & practise the opposite. For example, if I say, "I dont like women" & instead, I am a womaniser...it doesn't make any sense when I say something..right?I found out a couple of these...will keep on finding such tribes...& just kick them off!!And sometimes, the true face of people...who can bite you from behind, but when they interact with you, face-to-face, they pretend they are not complicated at all..
Its good to see the year has come to close---but will 2011 be for good??Honestly, I haven't achieved anything this year---not even a single shit!!Just I am getting frustrated, depressed everyday...just with anxious eyes I am looking at the door...the door of 2011, the one will be opened on January 1st, Saturday.
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